[SeanFury]

This is the most recent batch of hate mail towards T-Shirt Hell, my favorite T-Shirt website. Some of the replies are hilarious.





The Opposite of Love Mail - No, It's Not Expired Pudding

-----Original Message-----

From: Tristian B.

Sent: Friday, June 23, 2006 3:55 PM

Subject: T shirts

Dear T shirthell.com,

I'd like to bring this to your attention. The shirt you made that said, "ARREST BLACK BABIES before they become criminals." offended me greatly. I'd have you know that there were a LOT of black inventors. George Washington Carver was the first black folk to discover the peanut. I don't think your t-shirt is funny. I think that it's a lie. Plus, if you don't care if we're offended, you might care if you ever run out of buisness. Those shirts are NOT amusing. Amuse yourselves and watch television or invent gadgets. Thanks VERY much.

I hate your shirts,

Tristian

(Editor's Note: Don't sell our race short, Tristian. Black people can be inventors AND criminals. You don't have to choose one or the other. If you apply yourself, you can be both. Maybe even at the same time. That's why I've invented the highly illegal police-raping/shoe-buffing machine.

But seriously, don't tell me there are a LOT of black inventors and then only list one. Furthermore, don't get the listed invention wrong. Carver created peanut butter, not the peanut. It's not even fucking possible to invent a peanut. You make it sound as if George Washington Carver beat God to the patent office with the peanut.

Lastly, this shirt is a suggestion, so it's not possible for it to be a lie. If you were talking about our "Tristian is smart and doesn't smell like a rotting whore" shirt I'd agree with you. And, to be honest, I don't care if we run out of buisness, because that's not a word. Thanks very much. I hate you, signed The World.)

-----Original Message-----

From: Robert C.

Sent: Sunday, June 25, 2006 10:15 AM

Subject: T-shirts

I spent 24 years in the U S Army, fighting for freedom for guys like you. To print crude t-shirts similar to yours, proves that 1/3 of all Americans are fucking idiots, as they have probably bought one of your t shirts. You are a major cause of degradation of the spirit of America. Now go ahead and blame the political system. Like it or not, it is the best in the world. And, I am sure, a couple of our politicians have bought your sick t-shirts.

Robert C.

Major CE

Retired

(Editor's Note: I like when people defend the government by saying "Like it or not, it's the best in the world." Suggesting that just because I'm not getting shoved in a rape-room I should be happy with everything. That's like saying "Stop complaining about your Leukemia. It's the best cancer in the world."

Having said that, I would like to thank you for fighting for my freedom. Since you don't want people to be able to speak their minds I'm not sure which freedoms you're talking about, but thank you nonetheless. And thanks again for calling us "a major cause of degradation of the spirit of America." It's pretty exhausting burning flags and peeing on bald eagles, but it's times like this that make it all worthwhile.

Just one more thing. You spelled the last word in your e-mail wrong. You wrote "retired" when it is actually spelled "retarded." Later, Major Taint Licker.)

-----Original Message-----

From: Michael

Sent: Sunday, June 25, 2006 2:25 PM

fuck you, I like BUSH the only president with BALLS!! you ass fucker

(Editor's Note: Ahh, how I've missed this demographic. Make all the shirts about rape, abortion and racism that you want and a lot of people won't bat an eyelash, but make one shirt that criticizes the way a fully grown man does his job and the douche-bags come out of the woodwork.

I like how much these people care about someone that doesn't even know they exist, and wouldn't care about them if he did know them. And I don't just mean Bush. I mean the president in general. Michael, if I were to call you "a stupid dick that deserves to be raped by a pack of badgers in heat," do you think the president would give a shit? No, he'd go right back to eating my pussy.

The problem is that people take attacks on politicians personally, just because they have some of the same beliefs. So please understand, when someone insults the president, they're insulting the president, not your insignificant ass. I mean, I don't go flying off the handle when someone insults Hitler. I just shrug it off and shove them in my oven.)

-----Original Message-----

From: jim b.

Sent: Tuesday, July 04, 2006 4:29 PM

Subject: fact and fiction

It's called football, not soccer; suckers. Of course your babies are not starving, they're fed on all the shit those sewerscum fuckers at Mcdonalds turn out.

(Editor's Note: Can other countries please get over the fact that we call it soccer? Soccer, football, who the fuck cares? We only called it soccer in the first place because it was catchier than "the abortion of the sports world."

It's just what we call it in this area of the world. The same way the English say "lift" and we call it an elevator. And the same way they say Jim B. in your part of the world, instead of saying "stupid asshole whose mother regrets keeping her baby."

And thank you for suggesting that it's better to let your baby starve to death rather than feed it McDonald's food. I suppose giving a kid a Big Mac is worse than letting him or her get a distended belly and stand next to water buffalo beside a filthy river. Thanks for the parenting advice. And keep fighting the good fight for soccer, a.k.a. twatball.)

[Captain Morgan]

Wow, thanks for reminding me why I love T-shirt Hell so much